LIFE

The Not-So-Grim Reaper

When my daughter was very young and scraped her knee while playing, as kids do, or had a fever, I would ‘kiss it better’, sing her a song, and reassure her that everything would be OK.

She accepted this without question.  I was her mom, and in her eyes, I could heal.

A few years ago when my doctor said “I have some very bad news for you”, I was terrified, frozen with shock. Cancer.

“But, I eat so well, I stay active, meditate! I’m a peaceful person!” Suddenly my life was filled with teams of doctors and I had to think about treatment options. The decisions seemed impossible to make.

Comfortable With Existence

The other day I was admiring the view, open sky, ocean beyond, the verdant earthy profusion after the recent rains, and as I was appreciating how magnificent it all is, a distant hawk caught my sight.

I looked at this free flyer, and I wanted it to approach closer.
Then I thought this bird has excellent eyesight, and can see me perfectly well;
and as soon as that thought entered, he flew right over me, close enough
to completely gaze at one another.
I mean it really made me laugh, for here was awareness and instantaneous connection at its best.

The bird has come before, especially when it senses I am comfortably
locked into contentment, and just silently glides along,
performing an in tune rhythmic dance replicating how I feel.

Standing at the Threshold

A few years ago I found myself standing in my closet, madly searching for clean clothes in a last minute attempt to pack before yet another business trip, when I noticed my 4-year old son standing at the entrance. In one hand, he held a small blue wand, in the other — a plastic bottle of soapy water. “Dada,” he said, looking up at me, his eyes wide open, “do you have time to catch my bubbles?”

Time? It stopped. And so did I. At that moment, it suddenly made no difference whether or not I caught my plane — I could barely catch my breath. The only thing that existed was him and that soulful look of longing in his eyes.

For the next ten minutes, all we did was play — him blowing bubbles and laughing. Me catching and laughing, too. His need was completely satisfied. His need for connection. His need for love. His need for knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that absolutely everything was perfect just the way it was.

Reflections

Like a glance in a lake

I see my face

like the ugly duckling

for the first time

Like a baby’s smile unlined no guile

I see myself like it’s for the first time

When I’m with you I’m finally free of the doubts that hold me back…  relaxed.
My deepest longings are fulfilled in truth.

I see my sweetest reflections in you.

Thank you my heartfelt Reminder

This basic awareness,
this heartfelt feeling,
from which everything starts
and everything ends
in which there is no name,
except maybe that one;
“i am who i am”,
so easy to feel,
as a breath itself
to pick up with it
all inner gifts of peace,
to pick up with it
all the love
that is between
this breath and lungs
and accept them in consciousness
yet for some so hard to understand

Thank goodness
i have you
my dear heartfelt Reminder. :)

Stoyan Svet

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A Blank Page

I’m sitting in front of another blank page, while jazz quietly plays through my computer speakers. This is truly my idea of a great time. It starts in the moment and continues into the next.

I enjoy being reminded that each page in my life is unfolding before me and I love the mystery of not knowing what will manifest next. It’s like an unfinished sculpture or an incomplete song.

It slowly develops, creating its own shape and form, moving my fingers along the letter keys into unknown territories. I delve a little deeper and something else manifests.

Maybe it’s just a gentle nudge or a hint of something sweet that opens another door, a portal perhaps into another world within this one. Ah!!! now that’s what I call Eureka.